thescam.shop — a fake online store that satisfies the urge to shop

Catalog (138 items)

Flipper Mini 3

Snaps shut to end calls and dodge conversations. A tiny cover screen, a real hinge and the smug satisfaction of hanging up on someone with your bare hands.

$233.22

$299.00

Field Recorder 32

32-bit float, two cardioid capsules and eighteen hours on a pair of AAs. Auto-levelling means you never have to understand gain, which is also why your recordings have no character.

$307.12

$349.00

Digital Nomad Workstation

For people who work from Bali (once, for a week, in 2019). Includes free 'digital nomad' course (PDF from 2017).

$2,299.00

RGB Mechanical Keyboard

RGB lighting with 16.8 million colors to distract you from your unfulfilled potential. Each keystroke sounds like validation.

$239.87

$289.00

Second-Hand Hoodie, First-Hand Price

Pre-worn for authenticity and sold at full price. The fading is deliberate, the smell is a feature and the story is included.

$100.62

$129.00

Pivot 13 x360

Folds into four positions, two of which you will ever use. Tent mode is for streaming, which you will call productivity. The stylus is sold separately, and so is the dignity of drawing in a meeting.

$1,079.10

$1,199.00

Hydrate Ring Bottle

A 750 ml insulated bottle with an LED ring that flashes when you have not drunk enough water. It awards streaks, one badge and a monthly hydration report nobody reads.

$47.20

$59.00

Single-Estate Dark Chocolate 70%

One estate, one batch and a date on the wrapper you will read out loud. Seventy per cent is where chocolate stops being a snack and becomes a claim.

$7.65

$9.00

Sailcloth Commute Pack 18L

Eighteen litres of recycled sailcloth with a 16-inch laptop sleeve, a hidden pass pocket and a sternum strap you will never touch. The zips are the good kind.

$134.10

$149.00

Modular Bookshelf Cube

One cube. It holds four books or a single plant. Sold individually, so a real shelf arrives as eleven separate orders and one missing connector.

$95.20

$119.00

Vector 16 Gamer

1440p at 165Hz for people who still lose to someone on a 60Hz office monitor. The MUX switch is real, the improved reaction time is not. Charger included; good posture sold separately.

$1,311.18

$1,599.00

Bastion Enterprise 5

Issued by IT, locked by IT, approved by nobody. It runs a two-generation-old chipset, gets seven years of updates and will outlive the company.

$746.10

$829.00

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