Bluetooth-Enabled Rock
gadget
$100.62$129.00
The smartest rock you'll ever own. Connects to your phone to do absolutely nothing. Battery life: eternal (it's a rock).
Specifications
- Power
- None required; basalt is self-sufficient
- Connectivity
- Bluetooth 5.0 (advertises as a speaker, never pairs)
- Compatibility
- Universal; the rock does not discriminate
- Material
- Single volcanic basalt rock, responsibly sourced
- Dimensions
- Approximately 12 x 9 x 7 cm
- Weight
- 1150 g
- Colour
- Grey, with grey speckles
- Included
- One rock, one pairing guide nobody reads
- Software
- No updates available since the Pleistocene
- Durability
- Excellent; it has outlived every phone you owned
- Warranty
- 1 year, against 4.5 billion years of natural warranty
- Previous life
- Part of a lava flow until recently
- Reality
- It is a rock